Needless to say, women, especially in India, are expected to be loving and selfless beings who are willing to sacrifice their dreams, desires, and career for the sake of their family. Apparently, your nurturing nature is said to be your inherent characteristic. You are taught to put others’ needs before your own. And if you do not adhere to these unwritten norms you are looked upon as selfish, haughty and mean. And if you do, you probably end up neglecting yourself. Whether you want to be altruistic or a little egoistic is totally your call. However, most of you, I am sure, are more altruistic, which is actually great- for others. Of course, it gives a sense of immense moral pleasure when you do things for everyone else. But you also need to understand that you have duty towards your own self, too, as much as you have towards others. Why you ask? Here’s why-

  • Because your home revolves around you: You might be all involved in your household chores and the needs of your husband and children might be on the forefront. However, whenever any member of the family is in the tiniest kind of trouble, you are the only one person they turn to. Lost a sock? Can’t find the towel? Failed an exam? Couldn’t get a promotion? You to the rescue! In case you forgot, let me remind you: You are important. Only when you are happy, your family can be, too.
  • Because other things can wait: Commitments like attending parties or going out for dinner with friends sound fun. But there are times when all you want is to spend some time by yourself the way you want. If anything isn’t important or urgent, it can wait. Focus on your well being and passions.
  • Because you need a break: If you are a working woman, it is likely that it’s you who manages the home along with your job. And this sure is tiresome. You need an occasional break from the monotony and you would get the well-deserved break only when you prioritise yourself over others.
  • Because being a woman doesn’t mean servitude: There is a difference between being a support system for your family and being an unpaid servant to them. You are an individual with your own needs and wants, hobbies and interests. Do not let your love for your family kill your passions. Instead, seek support from your family so that you all can help each other grow.
  • Because you are a role model: Your beloved children are greatly inspired by you and learn from you. If you occasionally prioritise yourself, you are actually imbibing the value of self-respect in them. Your children, especially your daughter, would understand that their dreams and aspirations are important and that they deserve to be supported in their endeavours.
  • Because if you don’t, no one will: You are an amazing woman and your family members love you. A lot. However, I am sure they take you for granted a lot of times, too. Of course, they don’t mean to, but they do. And under such a circumstance, you have to take a stand for yourself. You have to focus on your wellbeing so that your family realizes you need that time for yourself.

Prioritising yourself is not selfishness, it is a necessity. Make sure you are not ignoring your health and wellbeing while you give yourself away for the wellbeing of your family. Make it a habit for all the members of your family to support each other and never take anyone for granted.

You may also want to read other articles written by the same author:  ‘Fun alternatives for ladies on career break‘,  ‘Bridging the gap using online resources‘, ‘Stress: Lets deal with it‘, ‘No Matter what the world says, It is ok to… live your life‘, ‘A little guide to positivity‘ ‘Ways to Selfmotivation- Your key to success’, ‘Why you need to prioritise yourself

About the Author: 

“Radhika works as a visiting lecturer at the University of Mumbai. She completed her B.A. and  M.A (Gold medal) in Sanskrit from the Mumbai University. She has a passion for languages especially English, Sanskrit, and German and has written articles on Upanishads. She provides content development services. She likes teaching and writing. Her hobbies include reading and listening to music.”

(The author is a guest blogger at Her Second Innings. The opinions expressed are those of the author.)You can reach our guest bloggers by mailing us at support@hersecondinnings.com. 

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