The recent news about the divorcee of Bill and Melinda Gates caught my attention in a specific way. One reason the couple gave regarding their separation is that they no longer believed that they could grow together as a couple. Before one can know what it means to grow as a couple, it is important to know what it means to grow as an individual, as a person.

We continue to grow physically from the time we are conceived. Our physical growth is visible and more pronounced during our younger years. Along with our physical growth, we also grow and change cognitively and psychosocially. Cognitive development includes the way we think, conceptualize, learn new things and understand the world around us. Psychosocial development includes the way we connect with others, the ways our personalities develop, the values and beliefs we identify with, and our ability to connect with others and express our emotions.


As we reach our young adult years, there is a significant slowing down of what we see externally as physical growth. Yet we continue to grow cognitively and psychosocially. Personal growth and development is a lifelong process. So what does growing as an individual mean? It is a continual process of understanding and developing ourselves in a way that makes us feel that we are living the best version of ourselves. It is unique to every individual. So how can one know that one is living the best version of oneself?

Here are 10 questions to ask yourself:

Do you feel valued?

Do you think you have a choice in saying a yes or a no?

Do you think your needs are attended to?

Do you have permission to make mistakes?

Do you feel comfortable expressing yourself?

Do you know when your boundaries are being crossed?

Do you have relationships that you are proud of?

Do you take care of yourself?

Do you feel excited to learn something new?

Do you have the freedom to do what you love?

If the answers to the above questions are mostly yes, be proud of the life you have created for yourself. If you are not ok with your answers, it is not too late to work on yourself. Self-reflection or reaching out to a therapist can be ways to know where you stand and what changes you would like to make. Personal growth reflects in all aspects of our life. Living the best version of our life is not a self-centered choice. As we start living the best version of ourselves, the growth we encounter has the power to touch the lives of people around us positively. Live your best!!

About the Author

Jennifer Moses is a Career Guidance Coach at HerSecond Innings and a Counseling Psychologist based out of Bangalore. HSI community members can reach her by making at appointment at Coaching.

Her Second Innings supports women professionals on a sabbatical in their journey of getting back to work. The mission of HSI is to guide women to achieve financial independence. Support from HSI comes in the form of job interviews, reskilling programs in Automation and, free Career Guidance Counselling. Sign up with us and complete your profile to get a call from our counselors to know your job fit.


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