Decoding Stress

Stress is defined as the gap between expectation and reality. Lesser the gap. Lesser the stress. Can this gap completely disappear? Yes if we consciously want it to disappear. So, what is the root cause of stress? Psychologists say that stress is an internal alarm that goes off when a human senses pressure. Now, what is pressure? It is hyped version of a situation which is thrown at us to make us feel “stressed” So, ideally it’s not the external situation that stresses us, it’s our perception of the situation that makes us feel stressed.

Our expectation versus the reality is what causes the disappointment in the first place. When we have to match both, stress occurs. Can we really be stress free? Yes we can be if we choose to be.  Some tips to have blinders or rather avoid stress than manage stress. The law of attraction states that the universe responds to whatever we think. It cannot distinguish between positive and negative. So, when we don’t want stress, one way to synchronize it with the universe is to not think of stress as a negative feeling that we have to bear the burden of, but to positively look at decoding it and simplifying it. Most mental and emotional stress manifests themselves as physical ailments. It’s totally not worth having it.

Here is a minuscule attempt at decoding stress….positively.


Seeing is not just capturing what is in front of the eyes but also what doesn’t. It refers to seeing the situation as a whole. 99 times out of 100, something or someone that caused us to feel stressed could have been a criticism, an opinion that was different from ours, an unfortunate incident that happened to someone else which we feel may happen to us too, or just the comparison of our life with someone else’s. But when we look at the scenario as a whole, we stop feeling as bad as it seemed earlier.


Our thoughts create our reality. So we better think our reality the way we want it to be. Thinking about the situation is good. To look at it as a short term or long term activity that may need more time and attention to sort through. But overthinking kills the essence of it all.


Reflect upon it. Does past affect the present situation? Will the overall impact be on future? What are the pros and cons associated with it? What can you do to make it better with the current options available? Is someone’s help needed in a certain capacity or it can be handled by self? All these options can be weighed.


If action is required to be taken, then go for it. No point in procrastinating about whether to do something about it or not also causes stress. Either you do it or you don’t. Most of the methods we use to solve a problem are experimental. Some are successful, some we learn not to repeat again. But every method is worth a try. It is said that not taking an action is also a decision.


Seek and see how far you could go. Give it your best shot but not get attached to the result. If the end result is not what you expected, it’s still fine, you tried. You will try again in a different way. But do not lose the motivation to try again.


Stop! Yes. If something or someone drains out your time, energy and peace of mind. Just stop with the thinking, reflecting, engaging or seeking. It simply means that it’s not worth it. Because it is negatively affecting you and definitely not worth pursuing further.

There is so much to be grateful and thankful to god. We cannot demean it by stressing over it. We actually fear to see reality how exactly it is. Acceptance of a situation or person just as it appears is the first step in keeping the expectations also under control. No pressure to change and no stress over no change.

About the author:

Padmaja Acharya – From the ancient language of Sanskrit comes my name ‘Padmaja’, derived from Padma (meaning lotus) and Ja (meaning to take birth from). A woman as created by the divine. An Engineer and MBA by virtue of education. A dance choreographer, teacher by virtue of passion. A soft skill trainer and educator by profession.  An author and speaker as guided by my calling. This is what encompasses me.

 (The author is a guest blogger at Her Second Innings. The opinions expressed are those of the author.)

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